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Updated: May 2, 2022

A guide to creating the happiness you deserve

We’ve all had good days and bad days. Sometimes we have rows and rows of bad days. Then suddenly, we can wake up in a great mood and think, “Today is going to be a great day!” We go out into the world and it’s as if others can sense our happiness and want to crap all over it. Each of us have a choice at that moment. We can immediately spiral back into the rows and rows of bad days and continue the cycle - OR realize that those people who want to crap on your happiness are just coming to your leftover negative energy from the previous crappy days.

This is when a choice can be made. I say bulldoze through those people with sunshine and happiness. Remember who you are. You are a child of God. You are connected to Source. You are a unique and significant part of this great Universe! If you don‘t already know this, you have a choice to be happy. I realized this a very long time ago.

Back in the day, when check writing was still a thing, I received an order form in the mail. I filled out the form to order my checks and there was an option to customize the checks with a saying or quote that would go above the signature line. I looked through all of the quotes, but didn’t find one that really suited me. Then I noticed I could create my own quote. I thought for a second and figured why not remind myself to be happy, since most of the time I’d be paying bills with these checks. I needed the reminder to choose to be happy while doing this. Seeing ”Choose to be happy” each time I wrote a check reminded me to be grateful. Grateful that I had a job that paid well and for the most part I enjoyed. Grateful for the money in my account to pay my bills. Grateful that I had an education that taught me how to write checks and balance my checkbook. You get the gist.

We can always find gratitude for something in any situation. You may argue with me about that, but it’s true. When I decided to leave my marriage, my ex-husband vowed to destroy my life. He warned me if I continued with my decision, he was going to take away everything from me; my home, my money, my family, my friends - everything. I decided it was worth the risk (that‘s a blog for another time). Long story short, he made good on his promise. While I won full custody of our children, I lost almost everything else. The good that came out of this experience is that things happened to me and around me that I NEVER thought would EVER happen. It gave me insight to so many issues incurred by others giving me the ability to understand a wide variety of people from a new perspective. And, of course, it got me out of a bad marriage.

I also learned new ways to keep myself in a good place while having to deal with unwanted situations. While I had to interact with him occasionally regarding our children, there was one particular time that my son wanted me to meet up with him to discuss something. I really wasn’t looking forward to it. I decided I needed to meditate to get into a positive mindset to avoid any bad vibes that might spew out of my pores and stink up the place with negative energy. After I finished meditating, I felt that I should make a list of positive aspects of my ex-husband. I was literally in the car sitting in the parking lot when I did this. I got a pen and paper and started to think. Let me tell you, it wasn‘t a very easy list to make, but I soldiered on. I came up with five things. Most of them were generic and not very deep, like he plays the drums well. But, at least I came up with something. It genuinely helped uplift my mood and not focus on all of his negative aspects.

The biggest point I want to make here is that we have a choice. I’m not saying to stuff your feelings down and pretend to be happy. There are days when I am upset and I really don’t want to be happy an that‘s okay. Feel the feelings, but then move on as quickly as possible. It‘s just really important to not stay in that place. It’s too easy to fall into depression that way. Then choosing to be happy may not be possible without some help.

It’s a good practice to keep a journal of things that create happiness. When I’m in a particularly happy mood I will write down the things I did that day so I can refer back to them on my not so happy days. One of my ”go to” happy things is playing Can’t Stop the Feeling! by Justin Timberlake. Ya, that’s the one, the one from the movie Trolls. This song never fails to lift my spirits. It reminds me of teaching kindergarten. Dancing around with 23 free spirited smiling five to six year olds. They remind me of what life is all about. This song takes me there. Someone cuts me off in traffic - “Argh!” - flip on JT and I’m singing and dancing in my seat (in a safe manner of course!).

Just try to always keep in mind that you do have a choice to be happy! “Just imagine…”

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